Days

Days go by
Fog follows me then floats away
Days go by
Time follows me then floats away
Days go by
My thoughts are scattered and then float away

Well, it's been 78 days since I've updated my blog...........I do have things to share or things to say and obviously being retired, I have the time but I find I put my blog on the back burner when other things come up and I guess that's okay especially since it's not like I make any money doing it but I like to think that someone out there in the big world of the internets likes reading my stuff.

It's also been 46 days since my father passed away and his passing is one of the reasons I've not posting anything earlier than now.....I'm still processing his death and I honestly feel like I'm in a bit of a fog since then.  Not having parents anymore is a sad, sad club and some have been members since they were young and others enjoy having their parents around late in life.  There is also another dynamic when your parents are divorced when they pass and depending how long that had occurred come into play also.  In my situation, my father had been married to my step-mother for longer than he had been married to my mother and my mother never remarried.   There is also a decade between my parents deaths....my mom's in April 2006 and now dad's in March of 2016.....spring time and Easter time don't hold fond memories for me because my mother died the Thursday after Easter the year she died and my father the Thursday before Easter this year.

At my age, you also start to question your own mortality.  My parent were very young when they had me (age 18), so I'm not that far behind them.  My mother was 67 when she passed and my father 77.  My maternal grandmother was only 63 when she passed, but I my mom's younger sister just turned 73 and is still going strong...my dad's side lived to be older except for his brothers.  My dad, the middle boy outlived both his older and younger brothers but both grandparents on that side were in their late 80's when they passed.   Our family is small, so when we lose someone, an entire branch seems to be cut-off and gone forever.

One of the things that my dad and I talked about over the years was both of our struggles with our weight.   My weight really wasn't as issue until I quit smoking 13 years ago and over the next 3-4 years continuingly put on weight.   I think the same thing happened with my dad.  You quit smoking, you look for another "thing" and with many ex-smokers, food is it.  Then if you really enjoy food, the battle is super hard.  Both my dad and I are "snackers" and I'm hoping that identifying

Since my dad's death, I've though about what I could do to honor him and I decided that I was finally going to make a concentrated effort to lose 30 pounds.   I'll be thrilled, my doctor will be thrilled and I can hear my dad say "Outstanding!".

So to "chunk" this task out so I don't become overwhelmed or set myself up to completely fail, I'm going to concentrate on the next 90 days to lose half of it.....15 pounds.....that's only 5 pounds a month....should be doable.....here's my obstacles

1. Booze (craft beer, wine, margaritas).  I don't drink everyday, but I do like a beer or cocktail with our meal probably twice a week.
2. Snacking.   One thing my dad and I had in common, we are "snackers".
3. Emotional eating.   This can go one way or another depending on what's going on.
4. Not taking the time out to eat during the day.   Then ravenous at night and we eat late due to the husband's job.
5. Keeping non-healthy crap out of the kitchen.   With a skinny 20 year old still at home there is still more junk food than I would like and my willpower is crap also.  :)

So, now that I've complained about my obstacles, here's some of the things I'm going to try and implement

1. Challenge myself to use My Fitness Pal every day to track my food because tracking does help.
2. I doubt I'm going to completely cut out my snacking, I'm just going to make better choices of what kind of snacks.
3. I'm also not going to give up my Diet Pepsi, but I'm going to make sure I drink TWO bottles of water to every one Diet Pepsi I drink.
4. I'm not going to cut out, but limit the amount of added sugar I consume....I'm talking to you ketsup.  :)
5. I'm also not going to cut out, but keep in check any processed foods that may find their way into our house because I know that little pouch of Idahoan potatoes isn't going to kill me once in a while.  :)

I love most fruits and vegetables and don't hesitate to eat them, I just need to make sure I'm getting the right amounts each day.

I also am pretty active but I could bump it up a bit, but I have to be careful because of the arthritis I have in my ankles, feet and neck.  No running ever, but I do like to walk and I need to start strength training again.

The husband and I were going to a aqua boot camp for quite a while, but it's just too hard to get to anymore because of what time the husband gets home and trying to rush to make the class.   I could go by myself and I might but it was much more fun doing it together.  It's bike season now also, so I anticipate getting out on the bike trails very soon.

So, it make that long story short....I'll be updating you on my fitness journey here if you're interested...sharing any recipes, workouts, etc. that have helped me.   I'm hoping that if I share here, I'll have some accountability of what changes I want to make.

Thanks for stopping by and listening to me!